I don’t.

What I want in my mobile phone:

1. Perfect network coverage – It should work everywhere, from the basement to the highest tower. From the most remote place with cell coverage to places that don’t have any via satellite.

2. Clarity – It needs to be crystal clear, meaning the person on the other end should sound as if they’re standing in the same room as you.

Even though that is no guarantee that you understand them, at least you can make out the words.

3. Fast Charging – That 20 sec to charge your phone deal sounds good, when does it get on Kickstarter again?

4. Long battery life – 720 hrs standby should be normal, at the very least. 48 hours of talktime would help too.

5. Video – Well, it is 2013, don’t want to go back to the dark ages, so in case I do want to talk to someone face to face, it should have quality video.

6. Internet – Since we’re going to have video, you need a fast network, 4G? And of course, messaging is where it’s all at, so internet is relevant.

And that’s it.

Mobile technology is great, but the phones today are getting stupid.

They don’t handle calls very well, but they can do a million other things.

I don’t really need it to tell ambient temperature or pressure.

I don’t want it to measure or weight things for me.

I don’t want my phone to talk to me, or me to talk to it.

I don’t want to take photos with my phone.

Not even when a camera is ‘inconvenient’.

I don’t want to check my email on the phone.

I don’t want to play games on my phone, not even fps.

All that does is increase asocial behaviour.

We have enough of that today in any case.

I don’t want to open my main door with my phone, lose it and that could be a pain.

Ditto for online banking & payments at merchants, the potential downside is too much.

I don’t want my phone to find my fb friends in the same room as me.

Or find a play date for me or my kids or my dog.

I already socialize with people I want to, most of us do.

I also have no plans to become James Bond, so no gadgets either.

Lasers might be cool, but I don’t plan to get stuck in a vault.

And if I was, good network coverage might be a bigger help than a half-assed laser.

And I don’t want it to be much bigger than a Rs.20 candy bar.

After all, I don’t want to wear a special belt just because my phone is too heavy.

And I really hate those tablet phones, who really needs to hold a notebook to their ears?

At 40+ even laptop monitors strain my eyesight, which wasn’t too great to start with.

Don’t want to squint for a small mobile display or strain my eyes with wearable monitors.

So basically what I’m saying is that I want my phone to do what a phone is meant to do.

Communicate through voice / video / chat with people.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Does that make me old fashioned? Or does it make sense?